Christmas movies are filled with hope and happiness and inspiration – especially if you are a property-owning white male. They also do a pretty good job of reinforcing conservative cultural ideas. Let’s break down the true meaning of Christmas according some of Hollywood’s all-time classics.
- It’s Wonderful Life (1946)
Privilege Synopsis: Despite owning a Victorian mansion and supporting a family of 6 with the finance business he inherited from his dad, a middle class white guy laments his lack of world travel. After avoiding nepotism induced legal trouble he learns to appreciate his current level of privilege.
Bullying: Primarily aimed at doddering old men
Acceptable Sexual Harassment: Better then becoming an old maid
Role of women: Advocate for assistance when male pride gets in the way
People of Color: Italians counted in the 1940s
Virtue of land ownership: Central plot point
- A Christmas Carol – multiple versions (1901-2019)
Privilege Synopsis: Rich white guy refuses to acknowledge his privilege until a group of spirits literally walk him through it. He then shows his gratitude through various economic enticements to the community.
Bullying: Workplace
Acceptable Sexual Harassment: Reserved for modern adaptations
Role of Women: Conduit to family and emotions
People of Color: It takes about a dozen remakes but eventually
Virtue of land ownership: Class indicator
- Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
Privilege Synopsis: Two white females must enlist the aid of the white guy next door to convince a legion of powerful white guys that being joyful and kind is not a sign of mental illness. Corporate bureaucracy is used to support their case.
Bullying: Institutional
Acceptable Sexual Harassment: Manipulate a latch key kid to gain access to her mom’s apartment – It’s cool, you’re a lawyer
Role of women: Wet blanket
People of Color: Alfred looks a little “Jewy”
Virtue of land ownership: Reward for gaming the system
- Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown (1965)
Privilege Synopsis: Middle class white kid grapples with depression due to social exclusion by other privileged white children. Religious dogma is used to shame the group into ending the unwarranted ostracism.
Bullying: Extreme and unexplained
Acceptable Sexual Harassment: Canine based
Role of Women: Badgering
People of Color: We’re still 3 years away from Franklin
Virtue of land ownership: Ideal for holiday décor
- The Grinch (1966)
Privilege Synopsis: Misanthrope decides to force society to share in his personal misery. Plans fail when it is revealed that privilege extends beyond commercial goods.
Bullying: Pet abuse
Acceptable Sexual Harassment: N/A (Thanks Dr. Suess)
Role of Women: Be cute, elicit guilt
People of Color: Everyone is an odd hue
Virtue of land ownership: If you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
- Christmas Vacation (1989)
Privilege Synopsis: Middle class white guy stroking his ego makes a series of poorly planned decisions that cause stress and anxiety to everyone around him. Working class white guy commits a felony which helps both the middle class white guy, and his upper class white guy boss appreciate their privilege. Rich white boss uses his privilege to erase all consequences.
Bullying: Standard patriarchal dominance
Acceptable Sexual Harassment: As long as subject is part of the service industry or related by marriage
Role of women: Ignored voice of reason and problem solver
People of Color: One (1) black member of law enforcement who openly advocates for police violence
Virtue of land ownership: Allows control of family interactions
- Elf (2003)
Privilege Synopsis: White man-child with an innate sense of joy about privilege helps another white guy appreciate his own privilege simply by being nice to his family. Experience is leveraged to form a successful commercial enterprise.
Bullying: Random public assaults
Acceptable Sexual Harassment: They literally sing a song about it while it is happening
Role of women: Validation, empathy, performing musical numbers
People of Color: One (1) black male who actually achieved middle management
Virtue of land ownership: It’s Manhattan, nothing but renters here
- Christmas Story (1983)
Privilege Synopsis: Middle class white child dreams of privilege in the form of gun ownership. The tragedy of missing a single meal is averted and the family experiences minor growth by being forced to engage with non-anglo culture.
Bullying: Widely condoned and relentless
Acceptable Sexual Harassment: As long as it is an inanimate object
Role of Women: Providing nutritional and emotional support
People of Color: Four (4) Asians serve up some heartwarming cultural denigration
Virtue of land ownership: Better to fight with the furnace than your wife
- Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)
Privilege Synopsis: Special needs animal and neurodivergent elf become outcasts at a large scale manufacturing and distribution facility. Rejecting social norms they find themselves needing to be rescued by a venture capitalist. They are welcomed back by the establishment when their anomalies are shown to have value. Venture capitalist enslaves aboriginal resident to perform menial tasks.
Bullying: Used to impose conformity in both reindeer and elf community
Acceptable Sexual Harassment: Your ability to fly will impress the gals
Role of Women: Fattening husbands, inspiration to excel at work, damsels in distress
People of Color: North Pole seems a bit Aryan
Virtue of land ownership: Santa is your landlord
3am Cynic 