Can someone in Silicon Valley please just tell me what the next iteration of social media is going to be in 2025? I’m skipping Tiktok, so just let me know now what the next smoking hot deal is going to be. I’ll set up my profile now and wait for y’all to show up. I’m patient. It’s cool.
Life is too short for me to spend so much of my life registering and building Social Media profiles every two years. I’ve been on the internet since the turn of the century. As a “creative” person in the modern world, the importance of digital media has been jammed down my throat for two decades now. When I had a band back in 2004, I started getting inundated by fans:
“Are you on MySpace? You gotta’ be on MySpace. It’s such an important tool for artists.”
I was skeptical but signed up and created a profile. And honestly, I could see how it was useful as a promotion tool. It was sure easier than walking around hanging flyers on telephone poles. However, just as I was getting the hang of this new medium, fans started to change their tune:
“Are you on Facebook? You GOTTA be on Facebook. It’s such an important tool for artists.”
But I just set-up an account on MySpace. Now I need another one? I held out for a while, but the push got stronger. I gave in and set-up on Facebook. Within a year, everyone was talking about Twitter. Then came Tumblr, Instagram, and Snapchat. WTF? I am NOT going to keep doing this.
Sorry Internet, but I just can’t be a part of the “shiny new toy parade”. A fad is a fad is a fad. It is bad enough when people try to keep their clothing trendy. That doesn’t require much effort. You just buy some crap. (Or don’t. I’ve worn the same basic outfit my entire life, sometime its in style, sometimes it’s not.) But building and maintain internet profiles is work – a lot of work. I’ve got too much other stuff going in in my life to dedicate that much time to keeping up with the Digital Joneses. I know this is a quintessential Old Man Stance – but the shoe fits. Staying hip and cool, just for the sake of staying hip and cool, is a young person’s game. People under thirty who don’t have kids are the only ones with the time and energy to spend 100 hours a week dicking around on the internet. That ain’t me. And honestly is there anything sadder than the old dude who is trying desperately to hang with the kids? Gen Z doesn’t want to hear Uncle Mitch singing along to Disney songs, really and truly. And the kids on the internet in 2028 are going to be making fun of all the Gen Zers who are still posting “selfies”.
It is one thing when a new technology comes along that adds something new. Social media in and of itself was a big innovation. But MySpace and Facebook were essentially the same thing. Twitter had the 140-character thing which was at least a twist, a lame twist, but still a variation. Instagram and Tumblr focused on pictures over text, another variation but basically, they were redundant, so one had to go. (Bye Tumblr) Snapchat added the instant scrub element to alleviate pervert remorse. But TikTok? What the hell does TikTok add? Basically, every social media site already allows you to post videos, and you may have heard there is also this thing called Youtube. I enjoyed me some “Old Town Road” as much as the next person but that was a bit of lightning in the bottle.
So, I’m skipping TikTok. Sorry, whatever Asian billionaire owns the platform, I just don’t have the time. Maybe in three years I’ll hop on the new thing when everyone is bored of doing video “challenges”. (Where my Vine users at?) So, someone just let me know where we are going next with this thing, and I’ll meet you there. You can leave a comment – don’t forget to hit “like”, subscribe, follow, sign up for my newsletter, add my blog to your RSS, and visit my many sub-Reddits.
3am Cynic 